A pig in a poke 8: Fin

My final article in this series. I wanted to share it with you before this year is finished.

After being signed off for a month, I had a very relaxing time. I went for long walks, cycles, did the gardening and saw family. I also went for an interview in Glasgow but sadly came second in the process (maybe something to do with the commute).

In my final week, I arranged a meeting with my trade union to discuss a few things. My father helped prepare and attended the meeting with me. I am warned that his attendance was only allowed as it was a casual meeting. We highlighted this new Improvement Plan, all of the rules and laws that were not being followed and that a lot of what had happened these last two years could be construed as harassment. There was no SMART plan so all of these targets are unachievable. We wanted someone from the union specialised in restorative meetings to arrange one with my bosses as neither of us trusted each other. My father tells me he didn't have to have such meetings till late in his career.

Sure enough the occupational health nurse called me up to discuss my return to work. After a brief chat, he suggests getting a new job. I am to do a phased return so in on alternate half days the first week and alternate full days the second. I also have to go to a counsellor about stress and attend a course about it.

There is a return to work meeting the following week. "I object to you coming in before when the doctor had signed you off" my boss begins. He is referring to the day I came in to attend a meeting. I tell him this and he replies "I didn't organise any meeting". "Interesting, why did HR invite me to one then? " I ask. 20 minutes of similar discussion is all that HR can stand before moving the meeting on. They don't realise I have all day to keep playing that ping pong.

I ask for a copy of my new contract detailing my duties. This is refused in case I refuse to do anything. I state for example that it doesn't mention phone duties in my contract and that most people at my new level don't deal with the phone. Tough I am told. My new job will be exactly like my old one but with increased supervision. No further details are provided about what that means. I ask for details of a complaint that someone has put in against me. They can't tell you who, what they complained about or why they complained. Interesting.

Please sign this Improvement Plan I'm told. My union advisor gets involved and suggests that this is harassment. They back down, but tell me I have to follow their plan otherwise I might be dismissed in October.

I go to my first counsellor session and have a good chat with her. She is simply in note taking mode. I also start going to the stress control course. If you need notes on this I can dig them out.

My last day of my first week back and my boss asks me what I discussed with my counsellor. A matter I thought was personal. I just talked about stress I stuttered. I finally start getting into the flow of things a few weeks in, although relationships are strained.

I am taught about the Parent-Adult-Child model(http://www.hopestreetcentre.co.uk/therapy-sandbach-cheshire/understanding-parent-adult-child-model) regarding communication with my bosses by my councillor. Essentially every communication can be modelled to be between Parent-Adult-Child. A parent's style can either be nurturing or critical. An adult can switch between Parent and Child and a Child can either be Adapted(resistant) or Free (playful). I figured out my communication style with my boss was Critical Parent to Adapted Child so I changed it to Adult. This made a little difference but I gradually came to realise that I was the only one making any effort.

One evening after a particularly hard week, I was out with some friends at a comedy show. On the way home, a girl I had a thing for told me I was one of her best friends. When I got home, I was in a daze with everything that had happened. I sat down in my hall, curled up and stared at the wall for 30 minutes. Coming to, I picked up the two leaflets that had been delivered for the Referendum - one promising that the world would be full of roses if we left the UK and the other telling us we were all going to die if we did or at least the place would be like a slum. Neither was very accurate - I had done my own research so disregarded it immediately. I wandered through to the living room and started thinking about one of my goals to go travelling. I decided at that moment to quit my job.

Several people gave me advice about it ranging from "Just do it" to "What will you do with no job?". I decided I didn't care so I handed in my notice and set my final day of work to be a month after the Referendum - October 18th. Incidentally this was the month that I had been told I would be let go in. I gave them two months notice to get their affairs in order with me.

Two weeks to go and a colleague tells me after a meeting that I haven't been invited to that I would be very busy for the last two weeks with several projects needing to be finished. "I'll do what I can do" I replied only to be told that I had a bad attitude. I just smile and nod - I don't really care.

In the final week, my trade union rep suggests that I investigate taking action against my work but after investigation and a little thinking I decide that it isn't even worth the effort. I want to leave and be done with the place. A more senior rep tells you that "It seems like you have been shit all over from a great height." I agree and wish everyone great happiness in the future.

Leaving was one of the best decisions I took. I learned all about work politics and how that all works. Most of the lessons I learned there will stay with me forever, the good and the bad. Now I am a lot happier, a lot wiser and a lot less bothered by what people think. I went travelling and I intend to do more - got to check off that bucket list and I got another job very soon after returning. One lesson I learned was that you should never let anyone tell you they are your only option!

If anyone is experiencing similar issues or needs any advice about anything in this series, please drop me a line!

I hope you enjoyed reading and Happy New Year!

A quest to find the perfect Fish and Chips - Timeout Hotel

Timeout Hotel - St Lawrence Gap, Barbados
Price: £9.05 ($27BBD)
As a little Christmas special I decided to do a little different post - our first fish and chip meal in Barbados.

After an 7:45 minute flight and 1 hour taxi drive from Edinburgh, we were rather hungry when we eventually arrived at our hotel.  We dumped our suitcases and headed straight to the bar.  They are very big on fish over here so my eye was immediately caught by the Catch of the Day.  I asked the barmaid what fish this was and her reply was "Dolphin" and immediately burst into tears of laughter at the look on the girls faces.  Just a note that Dolphin in Barbados is Mahi Mahi.

A huge amount of seats were on offer as the bar was practically empty aside from a few locals from the street.  It took a short time - 15 minutes or so for our food to be prepared.  My portion was huge with a beautiful looking fish (not battered) and a very large portion of sweet potato fries.  The fish was soft, delicate and it instantly melted in your mouth.  Having sweet potato fries was a little different but they were really delicious and I would definitely indulge again.

Overall I would recommend this meal to anyone.  It is a little pricey compared to the food here, however due to the quality and the fact I was sitting in, it is entirely understandable. No offence Flipper but you are delicious! 

I would like to take the chance to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Overall:
8.5/10

A quest to find the perfect Fish and Chips - The Harbour

The Harbour Takeaway, Port Seton
Price: £6.00 (Supper)
On a fine winters afternoon, we set off to Port Seton to try out this well known and popular chip shop.  I have only ever passed through here on the bus so this was a little adventure.

The shop is a little cafe near the harbour that sells fish and chip suppers.  While a little cramped, we were able to sit in and enjoy the unique decoration in the shop.  It seems to be a meeting place for a few of the older generation as we discovered as we had to share condiments with them.  The staff were very friendly and offered to open up a fresh packet of biscuits when Ryan went back for pudding.

My fish was delicious.  A little flaky and the batter was just right.  We sat in for this one so it was nicely served on a plate with a slice of lemon to squeeze over it.  The chips were quite flavoursome and definitely worth the effort to go back here.  What often makes a dish is the sauce and vinegar that you put on it and the vinegar here was delicious.

If I was passing through Port Seton again, I would definitely go back.

On average:
8/10

A pig in a poke: Work Related Stress 7

After that last meeting, another was arranged for shortly after. Fighting back a little I put together a list of the areas I had done well in. Unfortunately my union rep couldn't be present due to prior commitments.  An update was also released to another project that had been thoroughly tested.  There was an issue with it in some cases that had not been found before.  It is added it to a list of things to check.  You are told they understand what you are saying, however they don't care.  There should be no issues and you are going to cause an international embarrassment for your company.  Another issue cropped up that was causing issues with several people.  This was going to be a substantial piece of work to fix and your bosses disagreed on the solution.  One said that no matter the size of the work involved, it should be looked into.  The other said do not look into this, there are other solutions.  Regardless this is your fault.  If something goes wrong at a bank submitting a mortgage payment, you don't expect the bank to ask you if they should submit it.  They should just do it.  I wonder what happened if you had sorted out an alternative way of paying and you then have a double payment.  You haven't taken ownership of this situation and this has caused concern.  Interestingly both of my managers disagreed about the priority of this task with one stating that it was low priority and the other stating it was high priority.

Communication with the client had increased, however there were issues with work being completed on time.  One of the checks on the system was failing and instead of fixing the problem immediately on Live, I had tested this on a Staging environment.  How can I possibly be too thorough in one instance and not thorough enough in another?

At the end of the meeting, I am asked to present my views.  Having prepared in advance, I hand out a copy of the good work that I have done.  I should have done this a little better - instead of a list of the good work, I should have submitted a full and detailed explanation of where I had done well and the policies that were not being followed currently.  I could have given it to them prior to the meeting, however based on what happened next it would have made no difference.   One boss scans the list in 30 seconds and then says well looking through this, he helped people out all the time so helping people is just something that is expected.  Some clients are having issues with the project so most of the list is negated.  Another boss tells you that for every example of being good, he has a counter example.  Human Resources asks if I felt that the Improvement Plan had been achieved.  Yes, this list says that has been achieved in full.  Regardless, there are some concerns and you are now being given 2 months to improve.

I started working on 2 new projects. One of the most eccentric ladies but with the best banter is the contact.  I draw up a diary and realise that what is being asked is not possible with the amount of time I have.  Having an 80 hour project + a 37 hour project to complete in 3 weeks and the multitude of small tasks that make up a day.  Feeling a little despair, I inform my manager that I won't be able to meet the deadline.  You will meet this deadline as it is unmoveable I am told.  Halfway through this, an emergency happens and I spend most of the second week coordinating communications with 4 different groups of people all in different parts of the country.  I manage to sort out the emergency and get back to the original work.  

Before the emergency took my attention I had sent a Quote to my manager for one of the projects.  Chasing it up 1 and a half weeks later, I get the reply - "What is this quote for?  I stopped reading after the first line.  Half an hour to do a simple task that has been done before?"  I felt like I had been totally let down in communication.  The reply was not only rude, it was completely unhelpful.   Another issue comes in and I find a novel solution although unfortunately add two more records than I need to.  I get praised for finding the solution and told off for adding two more than I should have - quite correctly.  At another stage, I am in a meeting with a manager and he tells me "I don't know what you do, but I think I could do it better".  Excellent I suggest, I will tail you doing my job so that I might learn how to do it better.  Stop being so pedantic, it is a throwaway comment and not to be taken seriously.

I find a training course that I think would save me a lot of time in the longer term.  No, this is useless a lot of it is just common sense.  On another occasion, I get left finishing a task on a Friday afternoon as my manager leaves early.  I discover I don't have authorisation for finishing the task and ask for assistance with no reply.  Later that evening I get an email stating that I failed the task because it was meant to be finished before I left.  Not a nice email to get on a Friday evening.

After all of these issues, I discover that my main project won't be possible to put live on the date the client has set as they will actually be on holiday for the week before it is due to be finished and they understandably don't want to go live on their first day back.

In a discussion with a colleague one afternoon on the way home, I discovered that he had been offered a redeployment.  I decided that I would try to investigate if a similar route was available for myself but unfortunately there was no other department to go to.

My final meeting with them comes.  I say that I have coped under very difficult and challenging circumstances.  I was really pleased with the way I had handled the emergency.  Well those circumstances wouldn't have arisen if there had been some forward planning I am told.  I tell them that the client has not prioritised or scheduled time for moving a project off a failing server - a week long project.  Presumably I don't schedule time to go to the toilet comes the reply.  Please note if I am ever in the bathroom for a week I may have died so please call an ambulance.  I am then informed that a client has complained about me but I am not allowed to know who or what they complained about in case it negatively impacts my work with them.  After the meeting, Human Resources and my Trade Union rep have a chat with me and suggest that if I take a demotion then all of these plans and meetings will stop.  Taking a step back at this time might be advantageous to my career.  I might like to recruit a mentor using the Mentoring programme.

Pondering this, I arrange a meeting with Human Resources again and discuss the demotion.  A new lady this time.  I mention that I think there is a culture of bullying within the department.  Alarm bells go above her head and she says that I should reconsider this statement.  I tell her I don't want to pursue it currently.  She tells me that if I go ahead with this then I will have a paycut of £10,000 but less responsibility and I won't have any more meetings of attack.  I tell her I will consider it and I then sign up to get a mentor.

In my first mentor meeting, she asks me where do I want to be when I am 40?  What are my plans and how will I achieve them?  It should be my responsibility to organise training and manage my managers expectations.  Maybe we all at fault in this situation?  

During this time and after bottling it with one very pretty girl who made me late for hockey, I decided I wanted to learn the skills of how to properly socialise and seem more attractive to women.  A few of the lessons I learn teach me the different roles you can play - either being an alpha, non judgemental and having self integrity or be weaker, try to undermine people and attack them demonstrating your low self esteem.  I also learned the various uses of eye contact in different situations.

I decide to organise a meeting with my manager to find out if there is a middle ground so I lose slightly less than £10,000.  I already know the answer before going in.  This meeting is just to gauge his reaction and work out his game plan.  No, that is what we are offering you I am told.  I looked into his eyes and saw everything.  I saw the fear because he didn't have a plan, the bitterness of the last few years and the anger.  Looking back there was also a little bit of sadness in there too.  I smiled at him, shook his hand and quietly left feeling a pleased with myself.

After this meeting, I emailed Human Resources and signed up to the demotion.  This was processed and signed off.  Imagine my surprise when I received a new Performance Improvement Plan for a job I wasn't doing yet.  I consulted with my Trade Union rep who told me to in no circumstances sign such a thing, in fact his words were "Rip it up".  Cue weekly emails asking me to sign.

One morning two weeks later I got up to go to work that day and my mind was numb.  I couldn't think about going to work.  I was trying to think of stupid things I could do in the house that would make me not leave.  I was terrified of leaving the house.  I pushed myself out the door.  I recall standing underneath the bridge at Cameron Toll and making a deal with myself  - if I continued feeling like this at the end of the day, I wouldn't go in tomorrow.  I conveyed my deal to Human Resources, who agreed.  At the end of the day I was still panicking and numb.  I went to Self Defence class and calmed myself down a bit but not enough.  Eventually my parents came in to get me, took me home for a whisky and to stay in the family home.  

The next day I went to the doctor and told him about the last few years and that I had a meeting on Tuesday to discuss the next steps with Human Resources.  He said go into the meeting and if you are feeling panicky then sign yourself off for a month.  Your body is actually experiencing a natural reaction to the environment you are in.  It is the fight or flight response and there is nothing you can do about it.  Here are some leaflets about a course in Stress and please come back to discuss with the councillor/listening service.

At work, I do not get invited to any meeting so organise one myself with Human Resources.  They tell me that even if I do not sign the Improvement Plan, I will have to sign up to something which could result in me being asked to leave in October.  I hand the note over from the doctor and sign myself off for a month.

This is actually my second last post about Work Related Stress.  Apologies for it being so long and thank you for taking the time to read it.

If you need any of the materials that I was given regarding Stress or Assertiveness, please get in touch.W

A quest to find the perfect Fish and Chips - Jubilee

Jubilee, West Granton
 Price: £6.00 (Supper)
When we arrived at this place, there was only 2 fishes on display so we had to wait 20 minutes for them to make a fresh fish.  They served the last two to Ryan and David, although with Ryan's the lady behind the counter accidentally covered the fish in brown sauce despite vinegar being asked for so she had to make a fresh one.  There was a good amount of banter behind the counter while they were doing this and they offered to keep our meals warm while we waited.

Our meal was eventually served up in a polystyrene tray and they gave us a free bottle of Irn Bru for the mistake.  We decided to eat in David's car, although fairly comfortable seating was provided, and shortly after exiting the shop, Ryan's freshly prepared fish almost ended up all over the pavement much to the amusement of the staff.

After all of these disasters, we finally tucked into our meal.  My fish was an interesting mix between meaty and flaky.  This actually worked in it's favour as it was different from some of the poorer ones that we have had in the last few weeks.  Most of the chips were crispy which I quite liked, although a few were burnt.  The entire meal I would describe as average despite all this.

If I had to choose a chip shop in West Granton I would happily choose Javit's over this one.

On average:
7/10

A quest to find the perfect Fish and Chips - Angelo's

Angelo's, Lochend Road
Price: £5.90 (Supper)

After last week with the highly contentious chip shop on Rose Steet, we went a bit of the beaten track and went to this place in Restalrig.  On the corner of a roundabout and with a competitor right next door, this place was a little bigger and less crowded.  On the door it says that they accept card so I was a little surprised to be told that they don't and would have to walk to the end of the road to get to the nearest cashline - a ten minute walk there and back.

When we returned they took 5 minutes to serve us some food but our time was filled pleasantly with some good banter from the lady behind the counter, who was on top form.

There was unfortunately nowhere to sit so we alighted to Penman's car. My food was served up in a paper tray so I expected it to be quite tasty.  To my dismay, I discovered that the fish was mainly batter and the little bits of fish that I did find were really dry.  The same could be said of the chips, some were crispy and some were dry.   There was no taste to the vinegar at all, leaving the result really salty and I had to practically down my can of Irn Bru afterwards to get rid of the thirst.

On average:
4/10

A quest to find the perfect Fish and Chips - Rose Street Takeaway

Rose Street Takeaway 
Price: £7.50 (Supper)
Expecting nostalgic times I visited this place after coming when I was much younger and went to the internet cafe Easy Everything (yes there was a time when the internet was faster in a cafe than even on my mobile).    This is a cramped little chip sho
p which could use some upgrades to it's presentation.  The staff were very blunt and did not seem to have time for any chat other than giving the food.  I was also offered diet Irn Bru as a replacement for the real thing?

My food took 10 minutes to serve so it was fairly fresh and served in a polystyrene tray.  There was nowhere to sit so we took to Princes Street to enjoy our meal.

Despite my complaints about the presentation and staff, this was more than made up for by the delicious food.  Even though the chips were a little burnt the vinegar served with them was one of the nicest I have had on this quest.  My batter on the fish was really crispy and the fish was quite flaky.  I wolfed down the whole serving, despite Louis's protests that he wanted to try.

I would definitely recommend this place to anyone on a night out on Rose Street or George Street or anyone who doesn't care about the presentation.

On average:
6/10

A quest to find the perfect Fish and Chips - Montgomery Fish Bar

Montgomery Fish Bar - Montgomery Street
Price: £6.70 (Supper)
After the disaster last week, we decided to try a place that we often walked past on the way to do other reviews.  I was told on Google that this place had seating but unfortunately this seems to have been outdated information.  This is a family run place by the look of Italian looking servers.  Apparently it was also better "back in the day", although the reviewer did not note what day this was.

The shop did feel quite dingy and the staff gave us no chat at all.  In fact when I was taking the photo (apologies for the quality), the woman glared at me such was the friendliness expressed here.

That being said, the food served up in polystyrene trays was actually not bad.  It certainly wasn't as bad as the week before.  My chips were quite chunky cut but other than that had no redeeming quality to them whatsoever.  The fish was also mediocre although was not as fresh as I would have liked it to be (It had been lying there for a while I think).

All in all, this place was let down by unfriendly staff and mediocre food.

On average:
5/10

A quest to find the perfect Fish and Chips - Concorde

Concorde - Home Street
Price: £6.70 (Supper)
After last week's review, my expectations were high.  We decided to walk to this place from Waverly and eventually found it.

The inside was very well decorated with an arcade machine and a professional looking counter.  Our server was a jokey Italian gent who almost came across a little try hard.  We discussed the rugby and football for Scotland.

There was nowhere to sit, so we alighted to the Meadows with our polystyrene trays.

Unfortunately that was where the niceness ended, as I dug into my meal.  The fish was positively slimy and resembled a wet rag.  I could only eat half of it before I had to stop as it was just so poor.  My chips were soggier still and had virtually no flavour.  I only managed to eat a quarter of these before I started feeling ill.

I'm reluctant to recommend this place, however it might make other food better but judging from my experience with the fish and chips and the indigestion I had to walk off afterwards, I won't be back.

On average:
4/10

A quest to find the perfect Fish and Chips - Rapido

Rapido, Broughton Street
Price: £6.30 (Supper)
After a recommendation from a friend to visit this place, we decided to pay it a visit.  On this particular day I was suffering from a nasty cold so my taste buds were maybe a little off.

Not to be deterred, I was served by a pretty European girl who seemed determined to impress.  There were very comfortable seats that gave the place more of an Italian type theme.

The food was served up in a polystyrene tray and despite this was delicious.  My chips took me back to l'Alba Doros in taste and could easily rival these.   My fish was also delicious and was the best amount of flaky with a soft batter.

This place does not serve any deep fried sweets as they do not want to ruin their oil.

On the whole, if I was on a night out in this area or nearby on the hunt for a good meal I would visit here in preference for any of the other chip shops in the area.

On average:
9/10

A quest to find the perfect Fish and Chips - Pierinos

Pierinos, Bernard Street
Price: £6.70 (Supper)
After a bit of a tour of Leith Walk, we arrived at this very basic shop.  There was nothing remarkable in the presentation of the place and the staff were quite efficient, only engaging in some banter when we went back for our dessert.  They told us that they would pretty much deep fry any chocolate including Mars bars, Bounties, Twixes, KitKats and even at Easter Creme Eggs.  They will also do this on order as one customer had actually ordered 120 deep fried Mars Bars for some business event.

There was nowhere to sit, so we alighted across the road to the bus stop for our meal that was served in a cardboard box.  I was quite disappointed with the fish as it was a little oily and rated it only 5/10.  It was served after 3-4 minutes and I think could have been a little fresher.    The chips were a lot better than last week and I quite enjoyed these.  On balance they made most of the meal.

I would recommend this place for the sheer number of deep fried sweets they have on offer.  I might have gone back on a Friday or Saturday in case they were having an off day.

On average:
6/10 

FIGHTING BACK

My brother Ryan has written up about his experience of depression.  Have a read, share, comment and think about the experience.

It was July 2014, shortly after midday and I was due to start work at 3pm. However, on this day, I really didn't want to go. Now, we all have days where we lack a bit of energy and enthusiasm. We find it a struggle to to get out of our beds, go to work, do the washing, cook the dinner etc but something about that particular summer afternoon was different, I could feel it. A sharp pain had developed around my heart area and spread around most of my whole body, ending up at my head which made me feel dizzy and nauseous. Something was wrong and I knew it. I genuinely didn't think I could go to work and contemplated phoning in but what could I say? I was scared I wouldn't be taken seriously and decided against it. Looking back, I may have experienced a panic attack, even though my actual breathing wasn't affected at the time. A family friend was decorating our house that day and looked genuinely concerned as I told him I was heading off shortly. Forcing myself to leave home around 2pm, I trudged my way on the 45 minute walk to work, passing through a nearby railway station on the way. As I walked over a bridge and caught a glimpse of a speeding train down below, I hesitated and very dark thoughts started to go through my mind. I just hated how I was feeling and the way my life was going and thought this was the only way it could be solved. I was helpless, and in a very dark place.

These feelings had been building up for some time. For a while, I felt like my life was on auto-pilot. I'd go to work Monday to Friday, do the same jobs, say the same things, see the same people, go to the football on a Saturday, hit the town at night, wake up hungover on a Sunday morning and then start it all over again the next day. This was happening over a period of months and months and months. People seemed almost reluctant to ask me what I'd been up to as the answers were so inevitable. I tried to move jobs, take up different hobbies, meet new people etc but all of these seemed to end in a dead end. I felt stuck, and the things I enjoyed were starting to wane. A pivotal moment came earlier in the summer when, with my brother and a friend, we travelled to see our childhood hero performing live on stage. Standing in the front row, literally yards away from the Hollywood legend, it should have been one of the greatest moments of my life. On the inside however, my thoughts and feelings were negative. All, I could think about was that it'll be over soon and that I'd be getting up early for work the next day. Indeed, the train journey home was even worse, my heart pounding and my demeanour silent. Something was definitely wrong with me.

What just about got me through the summer was the fact that I had a holiday in early September ( and a further one in late November). My brother and our best friend were heading abroad for a week in the sunshine and it was just what I felt I needed. As I left work for the last shift before my vacation, I had no idea at the time that it would my last shift ever for the company, I felt happy and positive, like a weight had been lifted and I could go and enjoy myself and be carefree. And for the first two days, that's just how it felt. We basked in the glorious sunshine whilst trading banter and consuming alcohol like it was going out of fashion. It felt amazing, like the feelings I'd had before were just ridiculous and I cursed myself for being a drama queen. On the third day however, I came crashing back down to Earth. As we sat at lunch, overlooking a beautiful, tranquil country park, that familiar pain came back to me, my heart rate rose and my head ached. That night I couldn't join the others as they hit the town and instead was holed up in my hotel room where I stayed awake most of the night, my head pounding and overloaded with thoughts and emotions. This pretty much continued till the end of our vacation, the thought of alcohol made me sick and the blistering heat had become a burden. It was not the holiday we'd anticipated since the turn of the year.

The evening I got back home, it was becoming ever more clearer that I wasn't right. I watched my football team score a last minute goal to win an important game and could barely muster a grin. Football was my life, something I'd always loved and been passionate about and now I didn't give it a second thought. And for the next two days after coming home, even getting out of bed and eating seemed like the hardest thing in the world. Although I knew something was wrong, I batted off concerns with the usual “I'm fine”, “Just a bit tired” clichés. Until the third or fourth day after returning home, my brother finding me lying down on the sofa at midday and impatiently demanding what was wrong. It was then that I finally said “I think I might have depression.”

Depression is something that is heard of a lot but I admit, its something I was very naïve about. I just thought it was a posh term for laziness and couldn't understand how some people could be 'depressed' despite all the things that they had in their lives. I'm talking in particular about famous celebrities who I'd read about in the past that had suffered from the illness. But I looked it up and more and more, frighteningly, the symptoms of the illness were starting to tie in with my life e.g feeling tired, unhappy all the time, losing interests in things. It advised to stay clear of alcohol as it is a depressant and would only make you feel worse. It started to make sense to me why I'd felt so bad on my holidays. I had been suffering from depression and was feeding it with a depressant at the same time, a truly lethal combination.

So after bottling everything up for some time, I just let it all out that day. I literally told everyone how I was feeling. Friends, family, work colleagues, the lot. The response was overwhelming. I learned that a lot of them had suffered from the illness at some point in their lives and their encouragement and support was a great source of comfort. It convinced me that there was light at the end of the tunnel. I booked in to see a doctor the same day and was diagnosed with a moderate depression and prescribed tablets. I was signed off work long term and encouraged to keep as active as possible, eat healthily and not succumb to sitting in my house, however hard it may seem. The challenge was set and I had to embrace it.

Unfortunately, the journey back was not to be a smooth one. Although, I spent a lot of time out the house, trying to say active, I did 99% of this alone, which gave me way too much time to think. I spent hours on end, days and nights, wandering around the towns, cities and remote areas, sometimes till the early hours in the morning. Being around people was becoming harder and harder. Instead of socialising and talking to friends, I just wanted to be alone in a dark room with the blinds closed. I went to the cinema one afternoon and literally that night I had forgotten every single thing about the movie, like I had never even watched it in the first place. The tablets were not working and I was falling ever deeper into a depressive state. The suicidal thoughts I'd flitted with in the summer had returned and the urge was becoming ever greater. All I could think about most days was ending my life and how I was going to do it. I never went down the self harm route or anything like that, I just wanted to be gone. As I crossed paths with familiar people and places, I told myself to try and cherish them as they would soon be gone forever. I had planned my ending and my time was definitely up.

I was shocked to find out recently that suicide is the biggest cause of death in men under 40 in the UK. I have been someone who has criticised suicide in the past. I believed it to be 'selfish' , especially those who have jumped in front of a train. I would sit back and wonder how they could do that and bring misery to the driver, who had to live with the consequences of what he'd witnessed. However, I can honestly say that having experienced the urge myself, you are not in a mental state to be thinking of others when you are so depressed. You just want to be gone from this world in the quickest way possible and that's the only thing on your mind, not anyone or anything else.

It was only one, extremely deep, late night conversation with a friend that finally convinced me that taking my life was not the right thing to do. They were the only person who managed to get properly into my head and make me see the bigger picture and that my life was worth living. They know who they are and I will always be eternally grateful.

I saw this a turning point and from that moment on, I put all my energy into getting better. I attended a fitness class twice a week, read as much self help books as possible and generally tried to stay active and outgoing. I forced myself to get up early and out of bed, no matter how hard it was. That's the problem with mental illness, it wants to beat you, to make you lazy and succumb to its powers. That's why you have to fight it 100% with everything you've got. I continued to do so and along with the tablets starting to take effect ( I was told it can take up to 6-8 weeks) I could finally see light at the end of the tunnel.

My second holiday was upcoming and despite starting to feel better, I was also incredibly nervous, almost up to the point where I genuinely didn't want to go. The thought of leaving my comfort zone to go to the other side of the world was frightening. For someone who is an avid lover of travelling and sunshine, this is just another example of what depression can do to you. However, I fought through it again, and went on to have one of the best holidays of my life, visiting places that some people may never be lucky enough to see. It was truly incredible and so much better than my previous holiday disaster, several weeks earlier. I was getting better and it felt good. But I still had to return home....

I decided to use the newfound spring in my step to further better myself. My doctor had strongly advised that I needed to leave my current workplace and so upon arriving back home, through the help of my mother and a family friend, I managed to secure a new, part time job just ten minutes from my house. I had to wait two weeks to start and although it was nothing glamorous, I saw it as a positive step forward. I resigned from my current job and looked forward to a new start.

Although incredibly nervous at the start ( I had been out of work for over three months) I can honestly say the change was the best thing I ever done. Working in a new job, with new challenges and meeting new people was amazing and immediately removed the monotony of what my life had been like before. It was refreshing and I could get up in the mornings looking forward to the day ahead instead of dreading it. I worked throughout the month of December and went on to have an enjoyable Christmas and New Year with those closest to me. It had been a tough year, without question, but I was still here and 2015 could only be better.

I visited my doctor again and she was delighted with the progress. I was very much on the right track although she said there was no way I could simplystop taking the tablets, given the considerable amount of time I had been ill for. I was prescribed with several more and told to report back in March/April, or beforehand if my condition deteriorated again. The doctor who I'd been assigned with was only working maternity cover at the practice and I was unlikely to see her again. I can honestly say she was amazing though, such a good listener and never judgemental about my condition. You could say she saved my life in a way.

As the months passed, I started to get better and better. I continued working and by February my hours had increased to full time. I tried to widen my social life, at the same time cutting out any of those who I believed to be a negative influence. I went away on two weekend trips also. I was really starting to feel better about myself and what little confidence I'd had before was growing. Self doubts are something that have plagued me my whole life and are still a constant battle, even to this day. The 'glass half empty' mentality has always overshadowed my existence and put things in a negative light. For example, you could put me in a room with ten girls and nine of them might say I was good looking. However, I would be solely focused on the one who said I wasn't and wracking my brains with thoughts like “why does she think I'm ugly?”. A ridiculous concept but absolutely 100% true. I'm also getting better with that though, slowly but surely.

As the Easter drew to a close, I felt that I no longer required the tablets to make me happy and booked an appointment to go back to the doctors in May. I was nervously excited as I hoped to be told that I could come off my medication, while at the same time cautious about the whole situation. I needn't have worried as the young doctor was excellent and put me at ease. He believed I had made a full recovery and that no further subscription was needed. I walked out that day with the biggest smile and a lump in my throat. Monday 18^th May 2015 will be hopefully be remembered forever.

So that is my story.

I've come from being on the verge of ending my life to living it to the full and cherishing every day and moment. It scares me now when I think back to how dark those times were but they are (touch wood) gone forever. I survived and I hope I can help others do the same. I'm going to use the last part of this page to give my advice to anyone who feels they could be suffering from depression.

Depression is a truly evil and horrible illness and very much real. It cannot be seen by others but it is very much there and is just as bad as any visible scars or injuries. If anyone out there is reading my page and seeing similarities with themselves then I strongly suggest you speak to someone as soon as you can, be it your parents, a friend, a doctor or anyone you feel comfortable enough to open up to. You will not be judged, or laughed at, you will be taken seriously and the help is there. I bottled things up for way too long and told people I was fine when I wasn't. Sometimes its just the easy thing to do ( say that you're ok) but you are never going to beat something unless you face it. If you are unhappy with where you are then a change can make all the difference, be it a job, a relationship or anything. Try to do different things and meet different people, all the while trying to stay as active as you can. There will undoubtedly be tough times but there is always that chink of light at the end of the tunnel, no matter how bad things may seem. As respectful as I am of everyone's opinions and beliefs, I am not a religious or spiritual person at all. Life is very short and I genuinely believe we are only here one time and one time only. That's why its so important to enjoy it and live it to the full and mental illness will never allow you to do the things you want to do. But if you are suffering then you can beat it, I promise. I am living proof of that. Nothing would make me more happier than someone coming to me in a few weeks, months or even years time and tell me that by reading my page, I helped turn their life around.

Wish everyone all the love in the world and thank you so much for reading.

Ryan Chalmers xxx

A quest to find the perfect Fish and Chips - Javits

Javits, West Granton Road
Price: £6.50 (Supper)
Revealed as number 18 on the Evening News Shortlist and after last weeks experience, expectations were high.  A little intimidated by the reports about the area, we proceeded with caution.  There were several delivery vans with Javits on the front, so all we had to do was follow the trail of delivery cars.

This was the nicest decorated place I have been to so far.  There were a large number of staff behind the counter and the whole affair seemed to be very efficient.  My food was served after a 5 minute wait by a very cute girl who seemed to know her stuff and was very professional.

We decided to sit in the lush environment to enjoy our meal which was served in a cardboard box.  The fish was quite large and was very well cooked.  In comparison to last week's fish though it didn't stand out.  The chips were also average, a combination between crispy and chunky.  There was no dessert on offer as it ruins the oil.

If I was going back to West Granton again, I would definitely visit here and possibly aim for a day later in the week where the oil has been changed.

On average:
8.5/10

A quest to find the perfect Fish and Chips - Bennies

Bennies, Cannongate
Price: £6.90 (Supper)
After our visit to Gorgie last time, we decided to go into town to seek a deep fried sweet.  One place I had reviewed before used to do deep fried mince pies so we returned there.  It turned out they had been refurbished so in need of another review.

It was quite a clean looking shop with polite but friendly staff.  It was festival time so I think they had been really busy recently.  There was no seating in the shop and it was rather cramped so we vacated and made our way up the High Street to find somewhere to sit.  A pleasant little courtyard presented itself so the 3 of us had our meal there.

Served up in a polystyrene container, the meal was too hot to touch as it was so fresh.  The fish was a joy to taste being a little flaky and not too oily.  This was on par with Eatalias  it was so tasty.  The chips were exceptional as well with the right amount of crispy and non crispy chips.

If you are on a night out in town, I would recommend walking the extra 10 minutes down the High Street to this shop just because of the quality of the food.  The only thing pulling the score down a bit is the staff

On average:
8/10

A pig in a poke: Work Related Stress 6

Apologies for the delay between articles, I was struggling to find the records of that time period and also very busy at work.

After the introduction of the trade union into the proceedings, the process took on a different structure. It became more formal. More about actual progression. Other than the regrettable lack of process that was mentioned in my last post. How can someone be failing to comply with a process that doesn't exist?

I managed to get a few training courses organised,although to my regret I missed the first one due to it being in the middle of my annual leave. I forgot completely about it. It would have been the most useful as it was about Timekeeping, a skill I had been told was just common sense (better tell 1000s of professionals giving courses in it that they are wasting their time).

I was able to attend another course called "Dealing with Change". I learned how to deal with the emotions surrounding change. I learned about the Circle of Influence - how there are some things you can control, the environment you are in and the things you cannot control. I learned about the two types of people when dealing with change, summarised in the table below:

Taking Responsibility	Victim (Blame Mentality)
Proactive	Reactive
Positive	Negative
Happier	Down
Challenges to overcome	Problems
Solutions	Stuck
Reason	Excuse

I also learned about the Pyramid of Needs. At the bottom we have Physcological Needs (food, water, oxygen and warmth), then Security Needs (job security, social acceptance, safe and secure), then Self Esteem (what part do we play in the change, what doubts do we have), Achievement (performing well). Looking back I can see that only the first need was met. There was no job security or social acceptance amongst the team. I really enjoyed the course and learned a lot.

The next team meeting, I was asked to describe the course in a mocking tone in front of the team. You can start to describe the emotions you learned how to handle but in front of a team of 6 people who have no interest it feels more like an interrogation.

I have no notes about the next few meetings, however at one of them the Trade Union rep was not present. I sent him the notes afterwards and he asked "Did this really happen?". In that period I had delivered 2 projects, although one was late due to the code review that I did. The deadline was the start of January and it was finished a week late. No mercy was given for finding some code to be insufficient, it should have been right first time, even though I didn't write it, it was my responsibility. No mercy for the client changing the system the week before Christmas, you should always do what the customer wants. My studies were going well with the book I was asked to read and an online course I was taking part in. My communication was greatly improved with clients, although with colleagues was difficult. They often told me that simple tasks that I thought would take an hour to 2 hours should take 1 minute.

I also met one of the nicest girls a week after a failure with another. Unfortunately, when you are constantly attacked romance goes out of the question. Every good feeling you have is analysed and found to be flawed. You are always insufficient. It didn't work out unsurprisingly.

Due to not delivering one of the projects on time, it was found that I was incapable of doing my job. I was given 3 months to improve myself. Human Resources suggested that if I went down a grade, all of the Performance Improvement Plans would be cancelled. I decided not to bother at that time.

Dealing with Change did not help me here. I was at a loss of how to improve.

A quest to find the perfect Fish and Chips - Gorgie Fish Bar

Gorgie Fish Bar, Gorgie Road
Price: £6.70 (Supper)
Our next target was rated 4.7 on Google so we were expecting big things.  The staff here were really rather busy and only talked to us when we went back to see if we could get any deep fried sweets.  Sadly they did not offer these as it would ruin the oil.  The staff seemed friendly but a little gruff.

The seating inside the otherwise well presented shop was one lonely looking metal deck chair which actually led to points being taken off for decoration.  They should just stick to having no seats or invest properly in seating.

My food was quickly served up in a polystyrene tray and we went across the road to the playpark to eat our meal where there was handily some picnic benches.  The fish was really quite excellent and I really enjoyed this part of the meal.  Unfortunately, the chips really let down the meal with some being quite tasteless and bland.  Others were quite chunky and tasted a bit undercooked.

I really wish the chips had been done in less of a hurry and they had decided a seating strategy as this really let the place down!

On average:
6.5/10

A quest to find the perfect Fish and Chips - Bar-b-cue

Bar-b-cue, Glasgow Road
Price: £ 6.00 (Supper)
After a short break from reviews, we decided to visit Bar-b-cue on Glasgow Road.  This is according to the Evening News the number 1 Fish and Chip shop in Edinburgh.

When we went in, it was a little busy and the staff seemed anxious to be rid of us.  Afterwards we returned for a deep fried Twix and they seemed a little more chatty then however there was not that much banter to be had there.  There was no seating at all so we had to cross the road and have our meal outside the local Macdonalds.

My meal was served up in a nice polystyrene tray.  Despite the lack of chat from the staff, they were clearly very good at their job as the chips were delicious with the right mix between crispy and chunky.  The fish was quite nice too, although was a little too oily for my liking.

Altogether this is an excellent chip shop, however due to the staff, lack of seating and oiliness of the fish I would not say it is the best I have been to.

On average:
6/10

Windows 10 Installation

Windows 10 Installation

I recently went through the joyous experience of upgrading to Windows 10 on two different machines - a Vostro 1720 and a Targa desktop.   I expected this process to take a day or two tops but in the manner of most IT projects it overran.

Initial Screens

When they tell you that going through the process is relatively quick, it really isn't with a 1-2 hour download time and with a pause at each step to make sure you haven't fallen asleep it takes even longer.  I managed to capture some screenshots of the process in between my naps.

After it had run through the process of checking if it was OK to install, downloading and preparing the computer, my machine restarted itself 4 times over a period of another 3 hours (could be to do with fullness of hard drive).

After it had finished moving all of the files about and completed the upgrade process, you are offered the option to sign all of your details over to Microsoft.  I'm not sure why they need to know if I am playing Solitaire at work but they would like to use that information to sell me more Solitaire related products.

My first surprise followed shortly on my Vostro when I was shown a rather nice black screen.  Fearing for the worst, as from what I understand some graphics manufacturers haven't updated their drivers yet, I turned the machine off and on again by pressing the off button.  Thankfully Windows had decided to save me from myself and remapped the off button to be Sleep Mode.

I was finally able to login after figuring out I could Ctrl + Alt + Delete out of it and restart the machine.  My second surprise was that Windows had decided that speaking British English wasn't enough for it.  My keyboard should be American English and the rest of the options should be British English.

After I had managed to get around the barriers Microsoft had put in my way, I was finally able to login and start deconstructing the vast array of Privacy settings I had to deactivate.  I won't bore you with the details, but here are a few links with instructions on what to turn off:

• Rock, Paper, Scissors - Windows 10 Privacy Settings
• The Next Web - Windows 10
• Lifehacker - What do these privacy settings actually mean?
• Lifehacker - How to configure Windows 10 to protect your privacy
• The Slate - Including Peer to Peer sharing of Updates

A quest to find the perfect Fish and Chips - Globetrotters

Globetrotters
Price: £6.70 (Supper)
After a busy day at work, I set off on a journey to the this highly recommended chip shop.  Rated number 21 on the Edinburgh Evening News shortlist, my expectations were high.  The shop was very well laid out with some nice seating at the front looking out onto Bruntsfield Place.  The staff were friendly but efficient.

Someone suggested I include what the food is served in, as it affects the taste.  My food was served in a very nice cardboard box with a newspaper design on the front.  A reminder of the past I think.

The was the size of a baby shark and was one of the best I have had for a while.  I really enjoyed the batter, although the fish itself was a little too oily.  The real highlight of this trip were the chips with the perfect combination between crispy and soft.  These were the best chips I have had since L'Alba Doras.

After a run of bad meals, this shop was a joy to discover and I would recommend to anyone near Bruntsfield, the Meadows or Lothian, Road.

On average:
8/10

Ryan's Pub Reviews - Cloisters Bar

CLOISTERS BAR, BROUGHAM STREET
Pint of Lager - £3.90
For those adventurous people keen on sampling craft beers and real ales, then this church styled pub in Tollcross just might be your perfect place. For others, like myself, who wish to indulge in a bit of banter and be entertained, not so much. With an open fire and wooden tables, Cloisters is a good place to meet and catch up with friends. However, there is not really a lot to it. No televisions, games machines or even music here and the atmosphere seemed a bit flat, albeit I did go on a Monday night. I normally always order a Tennents or Carling on my pub trails but none were present here so after sampling a few different tipples ( from the kind barman) I settled on a pint of West 4.9%. Decent but a bit too sweet. Still, its hard not to be impressed by the vast amounts of whiskys, wines and world beers on display. There were also advertisements for festival events whereby you can go in and try the different beers, something I may well visit if in the area. Again, its a place that will divide opinion and it really depends on what you are looking for. Not bad by any means however.
7/10

In Search of the Perfect Fish and Chips - Globetrotters

GLOBETROTTERS, BRUNTSFIELD PLACE
After a succession of bad fish suppers recently, my patience was wearing thin. I did some proper research and many reviews for Globetrootters were excellent, something I'd heard before though of course.

The shop is bright and welcoming, the staff were friendly and there was a small bench at the back to sit in. I can honestly say these were the best chips I've had in a while, bettered only by L'alba Doro. Around three quarters of them were crispy and delicious, with just a small portion at the bottom disappointing. The fish, while not the best I've had either, was still enjoyable and extremely fresh.

Imperfect overall then but the best supper I've had since Eatalia's and somewhere I'd strongly recommend if you're hungry and near the Bruntsfield area.
8/10

Ryan's Pub Reviews - The Golf Tavern

THE GOLF TAVERN, WRIGHTS HOUSES
Pint of Lager - £3.60

After sampling a delicious fish supper up the road, me and David decided to quench our thirsts in this old looking pub beside Bruntsfield Links, on the recommendation of one of his friends.

It is two floored although only the ground was open on this quiet Monday evening. Despite a small amount of customers being present, the lone barman seemed to be overseeing the running of the whole pub ( fairly large) and was struggling somewhat. It took him more than a couple of attempts to pour Davids pint of Guinness and even then it wasn't up to standard, my Carling being fairly disappointing aswell.

That aside, this is an impressive place, and one certainly geared for sports fans. Four large televisions cover the area and there are seats and tables galore. I was told later on that is one of the oldest pubs in the capital and it certainly retains that feel. The walls and ceiling are beautifully decorated with old newspapers and memorabilia from time gone by, including swords, a shotgun and the obligatory stag's head. You can also rent clubs to play pitch and putt at the park just across the road, another nice touch.

A shame about the drinks but it may genuinely have been a one off. Give this place a try.

7/10

In Search of the Perfect Fish and Chips - The Gold Sea

THE GOLD SEA, FERRY ROAD
With the aid of Google maps and some strong recommendations from a friend, me and David arrived in Princes St and embarked on a near 40 minute walk to the Gold Sea chippy at the far end of Ferry Road. The shop is huge although doesn't utilise it as well as it could ( nowhere to sit inside).

Our fish suppers were served quickly by a grim faced counter assistant and we sat on a nearby wall to eat. There's nothing worse than being extremely hungry and tucking into a meal you cant actually finish because of the disappointment in quality. The fish batter was tasteless and almost non existent as well as being over oiled. The haddock itself was decent but you don't want to have to pick away at a meal to enjoy it. And the chips? They were a mixed bag and seemed to get worse the nearer I got to the end, eventually giving the last of them to a hungry seagull who was lurking with intent nearby.
With an edgy atmosphere in the area and several drunk youths patrolling around, we were quite happy to see the back of this one.

5/10

A quest to find the perfect Fish and Chips - The Gold Sea

The Gold Sea - Ferry Road

Price: £7.10 (Supper)
After a 40 minute nerve wracking walk through the back end of Leith, we finally arrived at our target.  The front of the shop was huge, although the inside does not utilise it fully.  They could have seats inside.

We were served by a straight to the point lady, who had no banter whatsoever.  She was very helpful though and offered us some forks for our meal.  Due to the lack of seating, we perched on a nearby wall next to the recently hit Scotbet shop.  To summarise the news article, a man walked into the shop, handed the man behind the counter a note stating "“Be quiet, fill this bag with money or I’ll shoot you in the face. Chop, Chop".  The gentleman then pointed a handgun at the shop keepers chest.  Our gallant shop keeper responded by tearing up the note and instructing the gentleman to shoot him in the arm to get some compensation.  Such was the the atmosphere in the area.

Back to my meal, I tucked in but was largely unimpressed.  The fish was the size of a baby shark, however was quite tasteless and oily.  The chips were a decent standard but did not compare to our gold standard of L'Alba Dora.  I spent a good 20 minutes picking away at my meal while Ryan didn't enjoy his enough and fed some of it to the seagulls that were circling.

While we were eating, there seemed to be some hilarity with a group of youths just across the road from us.  Fortunately when we went back to get our pudding, they had left.  The pudding was a Deep Fried Mars Bar - my first and an experience I found better than sex!

This was a mixed bag for me, what with being on edge and having my first Deep Fried Mars Bar.    Overall I don't think I will be in a hurry to go back.

On average:
5/10

In Search of the Perfect Fish and Chips - Cafe Piccante

CAFE PICCANTE, BROUGHTON STREET

The pretty counter girl had a strong foreign accent but I was pretty sure I'd heard her right. Yes, it really was £8.70 for a fish supper and a can of Irn Bru, by far the most expensive in Edinburgh so far. Convinced that the price was simply to reflect unbelievable quality, I perched down on the comfortable seating and tucked in.

Picante is quite unlike most chippys you will find in the Edinburgh area. It has an almost nightclub feel to it, with neon lit walls and a booming techno soundtrack. A plasma telly sits on the far wall, a subtitled movie playing on this particular evening. Its an experience for sure but this is unfortunately where the good points end.

The fish was soft and rubbery and most unpleasant, while only around half the chips were up to scratch. I was extremely hungover at the time of ordering and instead of the cure I was hoping for, I was actually feeling worse after it. I proceeded to try a (delicious) deep fried mars bar for the first time but at £2.90, it was, again, wildly overpriced.

Overall, a good experience to be had and the staff are very friendly. Location wise, it is perfect and will inevitably have a lot of business but the food needs to be improved if they are to truly flourish.

5.5/10

Ryan's Pub Reviews - The Halfway House

THE HALFWAY HOUSE, FLESHMARKET CLOSE
Pint of Lager - £3.60


Tucked halfway (ironically) down a side street connecting Market Street and the Royal Mile, this place could be identified as part of my inspiration for the entire pub crawl journey. After a visit back in 2012, I spotted an Edinburgh and Lothians pub crawl poster on the wall and thought it might be fun to try one day. Said poster is still on the wall today although at £4.70 to purchase, I settled for a cheeky snapshot instead. Inside, the Halfway House is small, really small and even on this dreich afternoon, with around 20 patrons present it did feel a tad cramped. Its cosy though, a living room type atmosphere with comfortable seating and a small television. Everyone seemed friendly and courteous and around half were tourists. I struck up a conversation with the elderly barman and although mildly eccentric, he seemed genuinely enthusiastic about what I was doing and gave me the usual glowing recommendations and 'stay the fuck away from that place' warnings. He got it bang on though when he glanced at my Tennents and said "Why do you drink that shite for?" It certainly wasn't the best pint I'd ever had. A nice place overall then, but the claustrophobic and those looking for private chat may want to venture elsewhere.


7.5/10

Ryan's Pub Reviews - The Westroom

THE WESTROOM, MELVILLE PLACE
Pint of Lager - £4.20
One of the fun things about doing a pub tour round Edinburgh is exploring places you've never been to and finding places you've never heard of. The Westroom was completely unknown to me but although expensive and fairly upmarket, was a pleasant experience.

Billing itself as a cafe-bar, the interior is t-shaped, with a very long bar and two person booths opposite. Further seating is found to the left and a staircase on the other side leads down to the toilets. As mentioned before, the place is pricey and has more of a 'couples' feel to it, the kind of place you'd want to go to impress your girlfriend on a first date. The lager was very sweet, not the usual acquired taste I'm used to but something different and still very enjoyable.

Feeling peckish, I sampled some of the nuts ( shoosh guys), although at nearly 3 quid and coming in a small dish, this was a far cry from the wee packet of KP's you'll find in your local boozer. Can't have too many complaints about this place overall, pop in for a drink if your passing but if your planning to staying a while, it's gonna cost you.

7/10