My final article in this series. I wanted to share it with you before this year is finished.
After being signed off for a month, I had a very relaxing time. I went for long walks, cycles, did the gardening and saw family. I also went for an interview in Glasgow but sadly came second in the process (maybe something to do with the commute).
In my final week, I arranged a meeting with my trade union to discuss a few things. My father helped prepare and attended the meeting with me. I am warned that his attendance was only allowed as it was a casual meeting. We highlighted this new Improvement Plan, all of the rules and laws that were not being followed and that a lot of what had happened these last two years could be construed as harassment. There was no SMART plan so all of these targets are unachievable. We wanted someone from the union specialised in restorative meetings to arrange one with my bosses as neither of us trusted each other. My father tells me he didn't have to have such meetings till late in his career.
Sure enough the occupational health nurse called me up to discuss my return to work. After a brief chat, he suggests getting a new job. I am to do a phased return so in on alternate half days the first week and alternate full days the second. I also have to go to a counsellor about stress and attend a course about it.
There is a return to work meeting the following week. "I object to you coming in before when the doctor had signed you off" my boss begins. He is referring to the day I came in to attend a meeting. I tell him this and he replies "I didn't organise any meeting". "Interesting, why did HR invite me to one then? " I ask. 20 minutes of similar discussion is all that HR can stand before moving the meeting on. They don't realise I have all day to keep playing that ping pong.
I ask for a copy of my new contract detailing my duties. This is refused in case I refuse to do anything. I state for example that it doesn't mention phone duties in my contract and that most people at my new level don't deal with the phone. Tough I am told. My new job will be exactly like my old one but with increased supervision. No further details are provided about what that means. I ask for details of a complaint that someone has put in against me. They can't tell you who, what they complained about or why they complained. Interesting.
Please sign this Improvement Plan I'm told. My union advisor gets involved and suggests that this is harassment. They back down, but tell me I have to follow their plan otherwise I might be dismissed in October.
I go to my first counsellor session and have a good chat with her. She is simply in note taking mode. I also start going to the stress control course. If you need notes on this I can dig them out.
My last day of my first week back and my boss asks me what I discussed with my counsellor. A matter I thought was personal. I just talked about stress I stuttered. I finally start getting into the flow of things a few weeks in, although relationships are strained.
I am taught about the Parent-Adult-Child model(http://www.hopestreetcentre.co.uk/therapy-sandbach-cheshire/understanding-parent-adult-child-model) regarding communication with my bosses by my councillor. Essentially every communication can be modelled to be between Parent-Adult-Child. A parent's style can either be nurturing or critical. An adult can switch between Parent and Child and a Child can either be Adapted(resistant) or Free (playful). I figured out my communication style with my boss was Critical Parent to Adapted Child so I changed it to Adult. This made a little difference but I gradually came to realise that I was the only one making any effort.
One evening after a particularly hard week, I was out with some friends at a comedy show. On the way home, a girl I had a thing for told me I was one of her best friends. When I got home, I was in a daze with everything that had happened. I sat down in my hall, curled up and stared at the wall for 30 minutes. Coming to, I picked up the two leaflets that had been delivered for the Referendum - one promising that the world would be full of roses if we left the UK and the other telling us we were all going to die if we did or at least the place would be like a slum. Neither was very accurate - I had done my own research so disregarded it immediately. I wandered through to the living room and started thinking about one of my goals to go travelling. I decided at that moment to quit my job.
Several people gave me advice about it ranging from "Just do it" to "What will you do with no job?". I decided I didn't care so I handed in my notice and set my final day of work to be a month after the Referendum - October 18th. Incidentally this was the month that I had been told I would be let go in. I gave them two months notice to get their affairs in order with me.
Two weeks to go and a colleague tells me after a meeting that I haven't been invited to that I would be very busy for the last two weeks with several projects needing to be finished. "I'll do what I can do" I replied only to be told that I had a bad attitude. I just smile and nod - I don't really care.
In the final week, my trade union rep suggests that I investigate taking action against my work but after investigation and a little thinking I decide that it isn't even worth the effort. I want to leave and be done with the place. A more senior rep tells you that "It seems like you have been shit all over from a great height." I agree and wish everyone great happiness in the future.
I am taught about the Parent-Adult-Child model(http://www.hopestreetcentre.co.uk/therapy-sandbach-cheshire/understanding-parent-adult-child-model) regarding communication with my bosses by my councillor. Essentially every communication can be modelled to be between Parent-Adult-Child. A parent's style can either be nurturing or critical. An adult can switch between Parent and Child and a Child can either be Adapted(resistant) or Free (playful). I figured out my communication style with my boss was Critical Parent to Adapted Child so I changed it to Adult. This made a little difference but I gradually came to realise that I was the only one making any effort.
One evening after a particularly hard week, I was out with some friends at a comedy show. On the way home, a girl I had a thing for told me I was one of her best friends. When I got home, I was in a daze with everything that had happened. I sat down in my hall, curled up and stared at the wall for 30 minutes. Coming to, I picked up the two leaflets that had been delivered for the Referendum - one promising that the world would be full of roses if we left the UK and the other telling us we were all going to die if we did or at least the place would be like a slum. Neither was very accurate - I had done my own research so disregarded it immediately. I wandered through to the living room and started thinking about one of my goals to go travelling. I decided at that moment to quit my job.
Several people gave me advice about it ranging from "Just do it" to "What will you do with no job?". I decided I didn't care so I handed in my notice and set my final day of work to be a month after the Referendum - October 18th. Incidentally this was the month that I had been told I would be let go in. I gave them two months notice to get their affairs in order with me.
Two weeks to go and a colleague tells me after a meeting that I haven't been invited to that I would be very busy for the last two weeks with several projects needing to be finished. "I'll do what I can do" I replied only to be told that I had a bad attitude. I just smile and nod - I don't really care.
In the final week, my trade union rep suggests that I investigate taking action against my work but after investigation and a little thinking I decide that it isn't even worth the effort. I want to leave and be done with the place. A more senior rep tells you that "It seems like you have been shit all over from a great height." I agree and wish everyone great happiness in the future.
Leaving was one of the best decisions I took. I learned all about work politics and how that all works. Most of the lessons I learned there will stay with me forever, the good and the bad. Now I am a lot happier, a lot wiser and a lot less bothered by what people think. I went travelling and I intend to do more - got to check off that bucket list and I got another job very soon after returning. One lesson I learned was that you should never let anyone tell you they are your only option!
If anyone is experiencing similar issues or needs any advice about anything in this series, please drop me a line!
If anyone is experiencing similar issues or needs any advice about anything in this series, please drop me a line!
I hope you enjoyed reading and Happy New Year!
